Yet another inburgering intake

I thought I was through to the classroom.

Letters arrived while I was in England, I was summoned to the Dutch Language Institute for a recitation on (the day before I returned to the Netherlands).  A Dutch friend picked it up and made my apologies – we rescheduled for 9:30 am this morning.

The venue turned out to be a college on the upriver-outskirts of Maastricht.  I pedaled over early to get the layout – an active church outside with shrines up and down the street,a cross on the schoolbuilding.  Inside, dim tile halls and wire-windowed rooms: computer labs with students in rows with headsets, classrooms with students in rows making hard ‘g’ noises.  This must be it.

Ingang Boven –> I took the invitation and headed upstairs.  The woman mopping the floor yelled at me for tiptoeing through the edge of a wet spot.  No sign of an intake desk.  The office doesn’t upen until 11:30.  I nosed into the language lab, and an assistant took me to a teacher who handed me off to the gymnasium back on the ground floor.

In it was a vast open hardwood floor, a single desk, a single woman with a single file folder set expectantly in front of her.  9:34.  Not a good start.  I took a seat.

She slipped out a printout of an email from my Dutch friend, confirmed that I had rescheduled.  Yes.

She pulled out another paper, exchanged it for my ID.  I checked the personal data, she made copies.  Check.

Another paper.  Will you complete the course, can we report your progress to the Gemeente, do you consent…  I repeated the Threefold Way to Dutch Language Mastery: I will do my best, I will work hard, I will finish what I started.  I signed yet another contract.

That page is replace by three others, my test results.  You passed the Intelligence Test, she remarked.  I beamed.  You passed almost all of the cultural test: you failed the section on Children.  Ah, yes, the questions about who I would call if I became pregnant and what school I would take my children to (and at what age).  Never mind that these were wholly irrelevant to my age and situation. You will need to learn these.

My language results:  Reading / Writing both A2, Listening / Speaking both A1.  If you work hard, this will not take long, she said, tapping the page.   I started to repeat the Threefold Way, but we were onward too quickly.

Daily classes when you are in town; assignments to complete as you travel.  The teacher will help you with a schedule when you begin June 1 – you will receive a letter. Cool.

You will need to carry a form that will be signed by each person with whom you have a significant Dutch conversation every week: doctor, storekeeper, restaurant, coworker, saying how well you did.  This will make me popular around town – I can see asking the AH Clerk to sign my petition as my goods whiz by at checkout.

You shall need a Dutch Buddy to talk with – do you have any preferences?  I begin to describe my ideal Dutch Buddy; she smiles and says that those are out of stock, but someone can be found who will be suitable.

And that’s it; back on the street and through another intake.  Next time, it’s class time.  Right?